Saturday, 10 November 2012

to fluidity and how fucked up it is

I've been with women before. I think most of us would have had the same experience---

High-school, you only had straight men as friends and some that are still at that confused-repressive state. You were surrounded by men who were very masculine, you weren't, but you have to prove your masculinity, you have to have sex with a woman so you could affirm to yourself that you're a man. You were happy with her, you loved her, but you knew deep inside, despite the fucking, despite the make-out sessions in her room while you sneak into her place at midnight, that you wanted something else. A man, a man's love, unrepressed love. 

In retrospect, now being with men, even though in most cases i just scan through a traffic of commuters and skip on every woman i see, i find it very alienating when i'd get to a point of actually being attracted to them. And it's not even at that point where the only reason you're checking her out is because she's wearing this Prada loafers that just came out last spring, but because you actually wanted her. Yes, people! You like it so much that you wanna put your dick in it, and maybe a cock ring along as well?

Excuse the bad Single Ladies reference but I hope you understand where I'm coming from here. I don't think I could ever come to a point where I would have a relationship with one 'cause for one, i'm not a lesbian, but I'm finding it, now, that i'm slightly older, that i wouldn't mind being in a threesome. It has to be with two men and a girl though, I don't think my consciousness could handle a number of more than one exposed vagina around me, on me, you get my drift.

And even though I'm only twenty, I've come to realise how very fluid sexuality is, that most of the people I've met, mostly self proclaimed straight-men, would have a rather peculiar inclination to kissing other men and sometimes even getting head from them too. I know, hot. Thinking about this though has also made me realise how many friends of mine are women. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Eight, that's eight women compared to the countless men, and the sexually-curious and confused.


On an external note, this is how I'm going now after a month of working out again. I've been lazy. Too lazy that I've only been to the gym six times for the duration of the whole month. Sometimes, I really want to do more, and sometimes, I just don't want to stay too long at the gym because they're just too many muscly men around me. It's intimidating. Now I do my work-outs at quarter to midnight.

I wish I could do this as much as I want to as well.
Talk to you soon.


RunningEnthusiast said...

looking good. :)

rudeboy said...

We often chastise the hetero community for not being open-minded enough to accept the fluidity of sexual preferences. And yet, it's comical how often a lot of gay men gag at the mere mention of having sex with - horrors - a female.

Then there's that derision we heap upon people who claim to be bi, and enjoy both, if not all, genders. (Though to be devil's advocate, swing a pussy and you're bound to hit a self-loathing gay man who just says he's bi because he thinks it makes him sound more discreet/manly/not-really-gay.)

Pot, kettle.