My ex decided to have a baby. No, it's not going to be with me, nor has it anything to do with me, but I came across this news when he called me on the phone this evening.
Amidst the reminiscing, the tears, and a bit of resentment on his part, we got over our differences after an hour of arguing over who fucked up the relationship, to him and his best-friend deciding on having a baby.
His obese, trashy, lesbian best-friend. I know, I sound very judgmental. and yes, I probably don't have any say on this nor should any of my comments matter, but seriously-some people are just not meant to propagate.
"Don't tell me you're going to fuck her?!"
"Oh god, no. That would never happen..we're planning on getting some artificial insemination done, it's about twenty grand..."
"Um..or you can just use a turkey-baster?..I saw them using it on this American show while we were still living together. Apparently, that shit works. Or you can always look up some shit on the internet. But seriously, why would you pay twenty grand just to get somebody knocked up. Hell, a bottle of wine and a box of beer should do the trick!"
I don't know..He told me his family and her family are all happy about it. But the gene pool, wouldn't exactly look to great having half of it coming from her part. I just never liked her. She's very badly-mannered, rather reckless, drinks a lot, smokes a lot, has bad teeth, doesn't exactly seem like the brightest bulb in the room, but I'm sure she's a sweet person (which is why she is my ex's best-friend for the last twelve years), 'cause of course, apparently that's enough reason to choose somebody as your...partner(?).
I just think he can do so much better with whom he can share his genes with. I mean, make a designer baby for christ's sake!
"I think it'll be great. The kid can have two mums, with her and Shae, and hopefully, two dads. Me and well, somebody."
"I suppose. I mean, that is the future. The modern family!"
He said they're planning on having it over the next couple of years. They're not on a rush and said they'll do it when the time is right..whenever that is. Not saying most of my thoughts out loud, and knowing how much of a complete cunt I'd sound like for saying half of the shit running through my head, I told him good luck.
"That doesn't sound very convincing, and I can sense a bit of cunty undertones to it too."
"And you've always known me so well, Aaron."
Though I honestly can't be any happier for him for knowing that he does have plans for his life. Not a drifter anymore, but now, a baby-maker! If only I could make babies, I'd be more than happy to have the child, that is of course if I get compensation.
"I'm sure we'll have a pretty baby if we'd make one."
"I'm sure it would be, but it'd be a bit crazy like you."
"Probably. But the pretty always overpowers the crazy. You know, who cares if you're crazy if you're drop-dead gorgeous! We could have one of those kids that look like that hot half-filo guy from Glee!"
"mmm, yea. It'd still be crazy though."
Our conversation lasted for more than an hour and a half, surprisingly, that was the longest conversation we've had over the last six months. How time flies...and how extremely cunty I could sound like over the people I care about...