My room is still a mess. My new housemate is moving in in my old house (which by the way I thought of keeping,) and along this I haven't been at home for the last four days-so I did the fastest but not exactly the most time-efficient way of moving my stuff, to just throw them all on the floor.
At this point I think my old theory of one's current state reflecting your surrounding has been debunked.
I'm doing great and I think I've done the right thing by sticking to my instincts. In a way, my stubbornness made me happy. My choice to stick with my guts and my constant determination to push myself out of my boundaries to make myself a better person has triumphed over the idea of being safe. That's the reality of it though, you only learn once you push yourself over the cliff.
I've learned things about myself that needs to be dealt with like my lack of patience, and frustrations from other people which made me realise of how much they mirror myself. I've come to know myself and I'm glad to have been able to do so through others. You may be curious on how I managed to be in this clear state of mind right now, and you might already know this already.
And if not, here's the secret:
LISTEN TO YOURSELF
You know when they say, "You get what you think you deserve." I somehow managed to rephrase that to something that I think I could resonate more from. Like,
Listen, Acknowledge, and Get it.
You may know what you want or you may be fully aware of this, but nothing's going to change until you accept what it is and do whatever it is in your way to achieve that. We're happy when we allow ourselves to be happy.
I know I'm not perfect and I really do try to constantly learn from all this. I know that I'm slightly crazy, extremely anal, and overtly crass most of the time, but that's okay. I've learned to be proud of who I am and be who I am and to not put myself as to what people expect of me or how society wants me to act, but to be the person I want to be.
Unless of course you have psychopathic tendencies, 'coz gurl, you gunna need some talkin' to.
This post may be short, but I hope you'll get something out of it like I did, and I hope you realise how deeply profound this is. I'm sure we'll all turn out fine in the end.