I haven't written anything for a good month, and as much as I've wanted to tell y'all that I finally got everything sorted out for my holidays, I've started to feel depression seeping in again two months ago. Along with this, I've been extremely lazy with work, and at home. I guess the whole package always has to come in pack of three.
What annoys me with this is that it seems to feel heavier and heavier every time I get my flashbacks. The world just feels heavier, and heavier. I've realized that this depression I've been having has been ongoing for more than a year now. I haven't gotten over it, it was just repressed along with everything once I moved out from my parent's house because there was just too many things happening. I think I need to go back seeing a shrink again. fuck.
Me and aaron haven't been go to well neither. I think we're gonna break up.
I don't know. What are you supposed to do when you're in this deep. I have lost interest with any of the people that I used to hang out with.
What am I doing to myself? Fuck it, I'll make myself a cup of coffee.
When you're in that deep, Herbs, there's little you can do except ride it out. It's easy to say "Hang in there", but yeah, that's pretty much all you can do while sunk in the black hole of depression.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, I speak from unpleasant experience.
There will be better days.
Well, that cup of coffee is a start...just relax and think rhungs thru maayos mo din yan in time....ikanta at ikembot mo lang :-)
ReplyDeleteYou can wallow in your self-pity and sad songs by Gladys Knight that it becomes so unbearably pathetic you just snap out of it one day and say, "what the fuck am I doing with my life?"
ReplyDeleteIt's worked for me and cheaper than a shrink.
@Hetero-Challenged
ReplyDeleteShrink sessions here can be claimed asap. Everybody gets to claim their first three sessions once a month from the government. it may cost me about a hundred bucks a pop, but i can get my money back as soon as i go to medicare and claim it.
but yes, that helps too.
glad your back for now... missed you
ReplyDeleteBreath. Slowly. And then try talking your problems with someone random. That'll lessen the burden.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time Herbs, one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteSo you thought things would be better once you get a boyfriend, your mommy and all your little duckies in a row. One of the biggest disillusions i got last year was you can't expect the fulfillment of all your dreams to make you happy. For starters, all that happy shit should be an inside job. Plus, once you get all the things you wished for, you just have to go out and wish for more! :)
ReplyDeletebebigurl we miss u oh so much. come home na!
ReplyDeletePwede po ba tayo exchange link? Na add na po kita at nafollow, you can check po dito PD link
ReplyDeleteSana po approve nyo reqest ko. Salamat po!
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Tech n Suffs
I also find myself drifting farther from all the people that used to matter to me. But it's normal with me. I suck at relationships. That's why I like dealing with strangers better, aka bloggers. :|
ReplyDelete