im torn between going out or just staying at home tonight. i was supposed to go to the gym tonight. then i realized that that would just be sad considering i'd probably finish working out at eleven, having to walk pass at least a mile of people getting drunk, watching the fireworks, and hanging out-i'll be that weird asian guy walking around the city who just finished working out on new year's eve. seriously though, who does that?
does it really do anything for your new year if you did spend your new year's eve with a big bang. last year's new year's eve for me was big, but the year to follow after that was complete shit, with the small exception of meeting Aaron this year.
and now that it's new year's eve again, it got me thinking what i've gone through this whole year, the things i've done, the biggest changes I've done for myself, when was the slowest during this year, and when were the quickest.
it felt like this year was that light in the end of the tunnel after going through depression last year. alongside this came that moment where i had to defend for myself, to not put up with shit- big or small.
what are my plans this year, what are my back-up plans, what i hope for, my fears, the things i need to change, the things i need to do better at. should i move back with mum to fix a few things with myself, what kind of work should i do next to fast-forward my move to melbourne, the things i could do to put myself on track, the things i could do to push myself out of my comfort zone.
i've been so good at protecting myself this whole year that i think next year would have to be to that year where i have to hurt myself, make mistakes, learn more things.
even though im happy at how things are right now, laid-back, safe. next year and every year after that should be dealt with the hunger to push yourself over cliffs, to be that fool that didn't care what would happen after but by just living the moment, the fall.
jumping for more, yet secure and grounded. that's it.
i guess i'm staying at home tonight. to meditate. play Skyrim. to feel the universe and to get myself ready for the countless jumps the next year and the more years to come after. Happy new year everyone!
happy new year! and i wish you an adventurous 2012. :)
ReplyDeleteI'd love to be out and watch the fireworks, but since I don't want to greet the last year of mankind battling traffic with the great unwashed, I'm staying home, too. The upside to that is I can roundly ignore my relatives while I stuff my face with pasta and glower as I get sloshed on cheap wine.
ReplyDeleteOh - and for what it's worth, may 2012 bring you good things...at least before the earth swallows us all up or the evil planet comes to destroy us or the zombie apocalypse finally finally happens or Arroyo gets a Presidential pardon and Kris Aquino manages to get a role in The Bourne Identity 4 which is shooting in Manila next year and the filmmakers need to shut EDSA down for filming hence the Kris Aquino factor and considering that, bring on the Mangyan errr Mayan apocalypse.
Happy New Year! I pray for all your endeavors this coming 2012! :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a great year and are keeping to your resolutions three days in!
ReplyDeleteI liked the new theme. ^^ Have Happy Explosive New Year, Herbs
ReplyDeletekelan pa ba post na to?bakit walang date at time?haha nangialam!LOL
ReplyDeletehappy new year! grabe macho mo na!ibang iba ka na hehehe.
it doesn;t matter how you celebrated your new years eve,hindi naman dun nakasalalay ang fate ng buong year mo. pero better nasa bahay ka nalang haha