on cheating and breaking rules

So they're dead.

Yes I was right, and no, I'm not going to buy a new set. 

I did everything in the book. I moved them next to the windowsill, talked to them, watered them one day after the other, and took off a couple...or more leaves so they wouldn't look too heavy. I'm pretty sure the latter wasn't exactly in the book, but it felt right - like renting a whole season of Sex and the City while drinking a six-pack of Italian beer on a weekend.

Despite treating them the way dreams would've be taken care of, I have failed. Failed probably for having the wrong formula-that there's more to it than water, sunlight, love and a bit of pruning. I didn't know if the amount of water I've put in them was enough nor did I know if the pots were too small for them, I guess that's how it is with dreams, the person with the dream has to grow with it, otherwise the person would just end up killing itself from suffocation, or in this case, lack of space. It was never like that with these babies.

Firstly, I never really wanted them to grow out of their petite fair-trade pots. They were cute, chic, and something you'd subtly show-off whenever your friends come over for dinner dates or a bottle of wine. I've always been a subtle show-off. 

But they're gone now and no plant food from your local flower shop can ever bring them back. 

Sad;no, disappointed;yes. 

In all honesty, I knew right there then when I started doing this that they will all die. Maybe a couple of months, four? or even half a year. But not this soon. I thought they'd die from negligence 'cause that felt more likely than what I've been doing. Apparently not. Maybe it was that subconcious thought of mine that led them to dying. Maybe I'm a mutant, or maybe I'm just too neurotic. 

So I've thought of a solution. Well not really. More like a diversion. Rather than looking after herbs, I'd start having flowers around the house. I know they're a lot more expensive and a lot more time-consuming compared to my babies, but they're pretty. And in my rule book, anything pretty is worth my time. 

Pros to this is that they'll make our place look pretty, add a bit of punch to our autumn-themed flat, make us seem posh even though were glorified pigs living in a two-bedroom apartment. Cons to this is that they'll cost me an average of fifteen to twenty dollars a pop - depending on what lilies I get. ('cause they're always the one that lives the longest, and if I actually take the time to change their water every two days.)

Oh! and did I say I have to replace them every week?

If you think about it, this whole idea of having lilies in a vase than herbs in a pot seemed more in tune with the idea of having dreams. You have to look after it, wait it for it to bloom and then do the best you can to make them last long. If they do die sooner than you thought, just buy a new set! You just always have to re-ignite yourself. You're not always at your top nor would you always be doing bottom *giggles*

I know, way to break that insightful shit-bag of a metaphor. . I need a drink. 

and yes, I will be sticking to this from now on. Until of course I find a better solution or metaphor.